9 Barriers to Beautiful Living
Have you ever stopped in the middle of what you were doing and thought, “I absolutely hate this“, but regardless of the momentary glimpse of clarity, you continued to do it anyway, either out of obligation, insecurity, or fear of saying no? Do you fall into the cycle of hawking the time anywhere and everywhere, waiting for the next, better moment to happen? Or how about spending an unhealthy amount of time living in the past, replaying scenarios that have long passed?
Every situation just mentioned contrasts against beautiful living because they all create friction and total disharmony between what you’re doing and what you actually want to be doing with your life.
More recently, people are beginning to notice that constantly putting the things they love on hold is exhausting and flat out irritating. For many, joy, happiness, fulfillment and purpose have been entirely abandoned and replaced with a whole lotta things they’d rather not talk about. Essentially, leading to an entire life they don’t want to claim as their own. Waiting, we now realize, is simply not Living.
Don’t worry about how this happened. Let’s talk about how to change it now.
1. What brings me Joy?
Many people don’t know the answer to this question anymore. Routines take over and we forget to actually live and be awake to the fact that life is happening right now. Auto-pilot is powerful and it can roll anybody up in the snowball of life.
Once this automation mode is recognized, giving thought to who you really are when you’re not on the conveyor belt of life is much easier. Explore a deeper, more authentic part to who you are by asking questions like; what are my passions? What makes me excited? Get clear on your answers. They may take time to define, but the importance of just knowing is going to pave the way towards beautiful living.
During this exploration of self, it’s important to give divine attention to what sparks a light in you. That feeling of, “I could do this for the rest of my life!” is not there by fluke. It has a purpose and it’s your job to figure out 1. Why its there, and 2. How to use it.
Nothing? No flickering light of excitement? Read on, friend, read on.
2. Fear
Yea, you knew it was coming.
Fear hides within everything and crumples all opportunities for beautiful living if we allow it to. The trick is to make friends with Fear. Live with Fear in a way that still allows you to live your life without making excuses, hiding or being avoidant. Fear is the cement lathered between barriers, deflecting the entrance of good things. Recognizing this creates an opening for an entirely new way of life to burst through.
3. Protecting a Self-Image
Okay, this one might sting, but it’s necessary.
One of the reasons many are not living beautifully is because they don’t know who they would be if they gave up the life they’re living now and they are totally scared to let that person go. (Phew, I said it!)
Who you are now is familiar. The person you could be if you actually chased your greatest passions is a foreigner. See where I’m going with this? It’s the Fear again.
For several, ultimately made-up reasons, many people feel the need to protect their self image (whether they like who they are or not). Anything outside that image (people, dreams, interests, passions, hobbies, clothing, lifestyle, etc.) gets ignored because none of it fits the current image of oneself. Thus, they give up who they really are at the core, to maintain someone they’re not, or worse, to maintain someone they don’t even want to be.
Truth is, there is nothing to protect. At all. You are not bound to any limits and you surely won’t shatter if you leap. Actually, when you chase the things truly in line with your deepest self, life gives you a gust of wind to help set you flying.
Goal: Aim to let go of the person you think you need to be and start being true to the person you really are. This is called being your authentic self.
4. Lost
In many cases, living beautifully seems difficult because there’s no starting point. Feeling lost and adrift becomes a painful focus.
In this drifting space is actually an opportunity. Feeling lost may mean you are not latched onto things being a particular way because everything feels wrong. SO, choose to see this blank slate has an opportunity to create your beautiful life from the ground up. Try new things, anything, and test out what feels right.
Start small things. If you like coffee, go to a coffee shop everyday. If you like dogs, go to a dog park. Every single one of your passions, even the tiniest ones, will lead you to beautiful living.
5. Unwilling to Try
If you haven’t caught on by now, I’ll give you a hint… living beautifully starts with Finding Yourself. The best way this happens is by tossing yourself out of the comfort zone and, yes, into the realm of NEW.
Think about it. How can anyone possibly know who they truly, fundamentally are at the core unless they don’t branch out? How close do you really come to knowing yourself if you’re doing the same thing over and over again?
When people extend outside the stencil they think they’re in, the universe takes notice. The further and further they go, the more and more it will respond.
Trying new things, whatever it may be, works in revealing characteristics of oneself that a person may not have ever known existed. Trying reveals what is REAL in you by showing you what remains constant and what breaks away.
You may hate what you find out about yourself or you may love it! But that’s the whole point! To know.
6. Change Your Mind
Yes, as often as you need to. The notion that you must to “make up your mind” or “pick something and stick with it” is a bunch of rubbish that fear-based thinkers constantly dish out. I realize this statement could be highly misinterpreted, so let me briefly explain.
Of course it’s unhealthy to be in a perpetual state of contemplation; incapable of ever making a decision; that’s not healthy for anyone.
However, trying new things also includes trying new thought patterns. If you’ve made friends with Fear, you can bypass the judgement or ridicule from other people that will ultimately only delay your progress.
Its 100% likely that your way of thinking hasn’t helped, so while were at it, get in there and figure out what thoughts are no longer serving you. Then, pitch em.
7. Do the Doing
Thinking, dreaming and wishing are only prerequisites to beautiful living. Eventually, you actually need to DO the Doing already.
Enough planning. Take action! Whatever action is available to you. Whatever you feel compelled to do. Even if its not perfectly planned out, seems ridiculous or too far fetched. (Hint: The best action is likely the route you’re most afraid to take.) Just move. Just try and trust that you are being guided along the way.
8. Give Up Negativity
Some people are exceptionally skilled at spotting out the negative in every part of life. Then, they often tell their friends, family, coworkers and all of social media about the bad, awful, unbearable, atrocious thing that happened and spread the pessimism.
“What you focus on, you create more of” – Jen Sincero. If you are focusing on the negative, that is what you will get. For your health and the health of those around you, abandon being the negative person. Negativity is not only empty, draining and annoying, it strips the proactive energy away from the world. Positivity? Now that’s the kind of energy that attracts solutions and success.
9. Alignment
In everything you say, think, do, like, dislike, etc, there must be harmony. If not, friction is created and will come out in the form of irritability, anger, discontent, restlessness, anxiety, etc. All of which will delay beautiful living.
Use these tools to discover who you really are, then align it with every part of your life (work, relationships, hobbies, clothing, habits, thoughts, etc.)
When it just so happens that you can look at every part of your life and feel as though everything is a perfect representation of who you are, this is living in alignment.
This is living beautifully.
Don’t ask your mind for permission to enjoy what you do. All you will get is plenty of reasons why you can’t enjoy it. “Not now,” the mind will say. “Can’t you see I’m busy? There’s no time. Maybe tomorrow you can start enjoying….” That tomorrow will never come unless you begin enjoying what you are doing now.
Eckhart Tolle
You Beautiful Life 